Self esteem? NONE

I am disgusting, i am a sloth! Self note: do the basic things which NORMAL humans do. sigh-

The lies just go on!

I lied to my mom, i told her i am on the 2º yr of what course im taking but in reality i am still 1st year, cos well, i failed that whole year!!!
And now the new school year is up and i already accumulated 12 days absent! thats 2 1/3 weeks of being absent! Damn!
The hard part is that i am scared that if i go back to school, the teacher will terrorize me. I am already 20 so! I swear i am going back tomorrow, If i had the face to absent for that how long, i should have the courage to face the CONSEQUENCE! for being retarded! sigh--
Just do IT! NIKE!!

Regrets

People often say that to move forward, you have to forget the past. Well what can i say, i often look back and realize i am stuck to where i was 5 years ago. I know! But how can i move forward with no motivation or watsoever. But i thought, i am just botteling everything and pretending i am alright, so instead telling my feelings to someone, its better to write it down. Here, where i am sure that pretty much no one can read it, Call it a diary if you must where i vent my frustrations and etc..